Happy Halloween!!

Here are just a few pics of Emma's first Halloween with her bestest friends :)

Here is creepy gnome with her old lady braids  

And our favorite little yard ornament...baby gnome :)

All the kids in our hood

Little Blessings

So first off,  thank you for all the nice emails and calls after my last post.  It's nice to know that other women have had a hard time finding where they "fit" as parents, and as adults.  I've decided to stop belly aching over what it is that I think or don't think I should be doing, and just be terribly thankful that I have this beautiful sweet girl to love on, and having the option to be home with her as much as I am!                                                       

                                                                  

                                                                     

Speaking of baby girl, I just can't get over her little chuckles!  We have such a happy thing here.  I just adore her and her sweet personality, especially after starting out in so much pain!  She is all over the place and just loves to talk, squeal and laugh :)

Emma and I have both had terrible colds this week.  The up-side...many pajama snuggle days!  We've enjoyed just being home together watching daddy work out the window.  We are replacing our front porch.  Dad came down Monday night, and Tuesday, he and Brett starting tearing things up.  It's really coming along and I can't wait to see it come all together with our new paint colors.  Painters come on Monday, so hopefully by the end of next week, I will have pictures to post!    

                                                                                      

                                                                  

                                             

Now that Emma has decided that naps are cool, I've had a little time to play around more with my crafts.  I finally finished an afghan for a friend that I sent off without taking pictures (kicking self), and I'm almost done with my first ever self designed quilt for my dear little MU friend!  I went fairly simple since this a new thing I'm tackling here, but I am still pleased with myself all the same.  Just need to finish the binding!

Last weekend we went to the Alldredge Apple Orchard with our neighborhood friends. I'm sure Emma will have much more fun when she is a little older, but we sure enjoyed the pie ;)

                           

                                                                        

 

Here are a few pics of Emma and Grandpa Dan that I found on my camera.  Grandma must have snuck a few shots while they were playing, and I just thought they were too precious not to share :)

                        

                       

Handing control to God...

    I've really had a lot on my heart lately.  It is so difficult for me not to have control over my life.  I've always worked multiple jobs...not part of one.  This was merely to give myself a sense of control.  I want the things I want, when I want them.  I want to have security.  I DO NOT want to rely on anyone else.
    When I became pregnant with Emma, I started to really look around and assessing the situations of mothers around me.  What were my friends doing as parents?  What did my mother do?  What did Brett's mother do?  I carefully observed the lives of the women that I look up to and respect the most.  I did this to track their happiness and fulfillment so that I could apply their strategies to my life to be the best I could be.  We decided that working a couple of days a week while going to school would be a nice compromise.
    In the beginning, I felt overwhelmed.  I felt like half of a nurse, half of a student, and worst of all...half of a mother.  Brett and I prayed for an answer on how to prioritize and organize our lives as new parents to be the best for Emma.
    We took a leap of faith.  I put school on hold to focus just on Emma.  Any plans that I once had have been replaced with plans for my family.  I know that PRN (as needed) nursing isn't secure income, but I really feel that God has set me up to receive the best of both worlds this way.  We prayed about the things we could do without.  How we would handle our savings to maximize our equity, without pulling from what we have worked so hard to put away.
    Working less has been a real struggle for me.  It means that my career goals have changed..goals that I thought were solid.  I think that when you change something that has been a foundation of your being for a long time, it sends you into feelings of insecurity.  Which is pretty much where I am.  I continue to question God on whether or not this is the right path.  The little blessings he continues to send us to ease the pressure, I feel, are his little ways of sending encouragement that this is right.
   These feelings of inadequacy and insecurity though, they linger, they consume.  Everybody has opinions about our change and our plans to come, and that makes it a little more difficult.  I'm ok giving up my own plans for my family...it's the control I'm having a hard time letting go of.
   Today, when I opened up my daily devotions, I found this:  http://devotions.proverbs31.org/.  I feel like God is really trying to speak to me.  I feel like this giving up full time work has really made me feel like I have lost my sense of control and freedom.  At the same time, I hate having to leave Em at all to go to work, so I'm very conflicted.  This little devotion really spoke to me about God's plan in my life.  While I'm receiving all of God's blessings...I'm handing him my control.  In doing this, I need to give him my fears. It's a work in progress!

I'm not sure who is reading this little blog.  However, it sure is therapeutic to get rid of these thoughts that cloud your mind!
                                                                Have a nice week!

Baby on the go!

Emma happens to be the most independent baby I have ever met, so she gets a little frustrated having to have help with everything she wants to do :)  She has never wanted to lay around.  We are always going for walks, rocking, or just helping her stand.  So, she was very happy when daddy and grandma brought home a walker for her.  She can sit, stand, and move around as she pleases.  It's so fun watching her learn to use her feet.

Grandma Tina stayed with us during the week to watch Emma while she is, ahem, between daycare providers, and she will be back tonight with Grandpa Dan in tow for another week of fun.  We just love having her here, and so does Emma.  It has been nice because Emma is starting to have more of a schedule being in her own home.  I've really enjoyed having Tina here to go shopping with, do crafts with, try new recipes with, and a little girls night out!  Oh, and she also spoils us by taking middle of the night duty when I work the next day.  So, it's been pretty great!

tear apart sugar cinnamon pumpkin bread, yumm

Our neighborhood recently had a baby boom.  Emma was baby #5 of 5 within 5 months of eachother.  We have playdates every Monday morning at 10:00.  They just love having this time to play together.  It has been such fun watching them interact and develop their little personalities with eachother.

Seger is always smiling!

Cason!  How precious?!

This weekend was a nice relaxed time.  Saturday we pretty much just lounged together.  Sunday was our first trip to the pumpkin patch with Uncle Justin, Aunt Gina, and cousins Danny, Ana, and James.  Oh, and my cousin Heather who is living with them at the time joined us.  Afterwards, they all came over for some roast, homemade cookies, and hot cocoa.  Love fall!

(The only pic of me and Emma...after I got a splinter, nice!)

Here are a few pics of our trip to Oklahoma a few weeks ago for the OSU/KU game.  Our friends Cathy and Dustin came with us and brought their girls Avary and Brynna.  We stayed with Dan and Tina (my in-laws), and during the day my mom watched the kids while we played :)

Here are just a few pics that I really like from the last couple of weeks :)

This week is another three day work week for me, so we will be staying pretty busy.  Next weekend we go to the apple orchard with our neighborhood friends! Have a blessed week friends!